SOS message from Sally (a fictional character). “I was working on my project, but it was too long. Then I got a serious burnout. Now life is like a nightmare, everyone is enjoying their life, but I am so depressed. I have to keep on doing tasks and managing my life, but everything is burdensome. I still need to get motivated by my life and my work. Please advise me on what to do.”
Dear Sally. I can imagine how burdensome life could be in that situation. Particularly when you get sick because of working hard. Now you might regret it since you got in a situation where you don’t gain pleasure from anything. Time flies quickly, and when you are fallen down there are two ways to proceed: you either use this as a stepping stone or just surrender and think that you are doomed, life sucks. If you think that you are doomed, then everyone else will also see you in that way, and you will gradually get demotivated and feel that you are a fatal failure.
The second option is to take advantage of this process. On every challenge, you learn something new and build up your life. Next time you would get more and more stronger. So think about this as the opportunity to learn. You will get more intelligent and more creative in the end. You need to not give up and keep up your hope. I know you have little energy. But it’s ok, remember that you need to proceed with baby steps every single day.
Accept the current situation
Currently, you are grieving for your loss. As you know, every grieving has certain stages. Click to read more about grieving.
I can understand your grief. In the past, you were intact and able to carry on with your life perfectly. However, now it is very burdensome. All we have is now and now. Acknowledge the current situation and accept that what happened has already happened and there is a clear influence now. It does not matter what happened because you cannot take it back. What you can do is take it from what we have now. Use the power of now to get motivated. Whatever the situation is, there is always a bright side to focus to.
“I accept the challenges and trust the journey. Each difficulty is an opportunity to grow and encounter with my authentic self. I am strong enough to face this and find my way through.”
Adapt your lifestyle aligned with the current self
Now circumstances changed, and you need to plan your day and arrange your goals according to the new circumstances. You cannot act as fast as before, and you do not have the motivation to do many things. Maybe this is a good thing. Before, you were trying to do many things at the same time, and now you need to do the basics.
To-do lists are helpful to see what are the core tasks. Then, give a rating regarding the priority on how much motivation do you have and how difficult it is to accomplish a task. Then balance your tasks on difficulty level. Maybe choose 1 difficult and 2 easy (1 to 2 ratios) list to accomplish. Click here to download this to-do template.
Adapt your lifestyle aligned with the current self
These troublesome days will pass, and you will be back to normal someday. So this is the time to be happy from small things. A coffee, the moment that you feel good, when you accomplish things, will make you happy. Maybe this is the time you learn to acknowledge that just “Being ok” is the most essential of everything.
A person that I knew who was currently suffering from cancer told that “Even if they gave me the half of the neighborhood, it would be no use. I just want my health back.” So even if you are very rich, if you cannot just go outside and enjoy life, it would be no use to you at all. So this is the time you learn to suppress your ego and focus on the basics.
In those times, make a list of small pleasures at home that would make you feel good. And just focus on this enjoyment and let go of the other things.
Learn to be happy from small things
These troublesome days will pass, and you will be back to normal someday. So this is the time to be happy from small things. A coffee, the moment that you feel good, when you accomplish things, will make you happy. Maybe this is the time you learn to acknowledge that just “Being ok” is the most essential of everything.
A person that I knew who was currently suffering from cancer told that “Even if they gave me the half of the neighborhood, it would be no use. I just want my health back.” So even if you are very rich, if you cannot just go outside and enjoy life, it would be no use to you at all. So this is the time you learn to suppress your ego and focus on the basics.
In those times, make a list of small pleasures at home that would make you feel good. And just focus on this enjoyment and let go of the other things.
Visualize that you are ok
Visualization is creating scenarios in your mind without any external stimuli. Spend approximately 30 minutes imagining that you are okay, energetic and taking actions to achieve your goals. There are various methods of mental visualization. Mental rehearsal is when you are actually performing a task that helps to improve skills and confidence. You could also focus on specific aspects of an experience, such as recovering from phobias or processing trauma.
Before doing a visualization, first do a breathing exercise. Choose a quiet place and minimize distractions. Imagine that you are healthy, happy and enjoying life. Imagine your active life, how you are satisfied, and how you are doing your tasks.
Make a wish, imagine every day your difficult tasks. Imagine that you are doing them with pleasure. Cheer to your success! Always visualize the good things and progress accordingly. The more you see a progress, the more you will get motivated in life.
Find a community
Social support is one of the things that helps us to heal. When you are in such a difficult situation, embrace all the social support that you have. Meet frequently with people who you feel happy with, and maybe spend time with pets. Pets give enormous energy, and happiness.
Think of this situation as an opportunity to help other people. Share your insights, maybe open a blog website, or an Instagram account and report your insights daily. Such channel would help you to meet with a community who has similar issues as you. Then you will meet with people who you can relate with.
It is important to note that spending too much time on social media might influence you negatively. Constant switching among reels might hijack your focus, and constant gratification would mess the rewarding system. Furthermore, social comparison might influence you negatively and might lead to depression.
To Conclude
Life is not a huge party. There are difficult times in life, and sometimes we do need to deal with mental challenges and losses. In those times, we need to pull ourselves together to pass that time with ease. In that time, accept that things have changed, adapt to current circumstances and capacity, learn to be happy with small things, visualize your ideal self, and embrace social support. Acknowledge that every fall is a step toward rising higher.
